It wasn't the biggest modifications to be done as most of the feedback were quite positive, but a couple of things needed to be changed up a bit. What Coombes pointed out the most was my habit of writing past the end of the scene and to repeat without meaning to, as well as getting rid of my "info-dumps" (show not tell).
My final script ended up not being changed that much, mostly because i prioritised the trailer over rewriting the script and therefore didn't have time to properly rewrite the script, and because I already had made a lot of changes from my original idea before the first hand in (as the character change of "Rob Wescott" changing him from being a child to a young man, getting rid of the scenes with him mom and their apartment etc) as I had rewritten my script 3 times before the first hand in.
Changes I made to my script after the feedback:
- Tightening the dialogue
- Adding some more scenes to make it clearer that time has passed
- Tough up of the scene headings
- Making the link between the picture of the daughter and the beach more visible
- Changing the order of some of the dialogue making the audience learn more about Rob at an earlier stage in the script.
- Managing and fixing typo's
- Making the "info dumps" less "info dumps"
Link to final draft
Link to trailer draft
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