Documentary - Fine cut

Today we had our fine-cut deadline and our feedback from Zoe was better than I expected it to be. She gave us praise for some parts which she found good and also gave us some good feedback on what she felt that we could change. 

Feedback:

• She liked the title sequence, but want’s some of the selfies to be more horrifying. (I’ll be fixing this shortly).
• Want’s a sentence to re-establish what the doc is about after the title seq. (Here maybe we can move one of the V.O in the beginning of the doc.) 
• Have a different V.O when introducing Shahak. We have Kamran saying “project” twice in less than 10 seconds. Try to use a different word. (We’ll go through old V.O to see if we have anything where the words are different.)
• Would be great if we could have a better sign posting when being at the memorial. Although this isn’t something crucial for the doc, but more for future thoughts. (We have talked about this and concluded that we won’t be able to change it more. We’ve already made Shahak’s interview lean towards the memorial and using a PTC where Kamran says where he is. Unfortunately we won’t be able to make more signposting that that.)
• A couple more shots of the Holocaust memorial before we move to Kamran driving to visit David. This will allow the audience to breath a little more. (We’ll fix that today). 
• Would be great to have David introduced in a different way with a non sinc clip instead of a clip where we see his mouth moving, but hear something different from what he’s saying in the shot. (His mouth is out of sync). (We’ll have a look at it, but we’re unsure if we have any footage that will fit better.) 
• Shorten Davids interview. Not nessecairly have the part with cavemen. It’s long and sync heavy. Although it’s interesting. She likes the last bit where he talks about the Holocaust. Need to see what’s relevant for the doc. (We’ll have a look at it. She suggested laer to have David at the end of the Doc instead of Christoph which I agree is better. She also suggested to keep the cave men sequence if we have him at the end.)
• She like the fact that we’ve got back on the timeline during the interview with the survivors. 
• Like how the last interview (with Christoph) is shot. 

She suggested to change the timeline to have the Holocaust survivors after showing the memorial, have Christoph after the survivors, then a bit of a montage of Kamran walking around in Berlin/a clip of a survivor we haven’t used. And then have David at the end of the doc. 

So:
Shahak -> Memorial -> Survivors -> Museums guy (Christoph) -> Montage of Kamran walking around in Berlin/a shot of survivor that we haven’t used -> David -> Conclusion 

I agree with most of what Zoe said and we’ll be working on it as soon as possible. It’s nice to see that we’re finally getting near a final edit.